I’m the first one to admit, I’m a flawed human being. With the passing of years, I know inside myself I am a good, loving and well meaning individual. I don’t dwell on the negative, though when I have a learning curve, I address it my way and in my time. This makes me not the right fit for everyone. Oh well.
I prefer feeling understood. I often am not. That’s difficult for me. My ego at those times does battle with my heart or regretfully, when pushed, my opposer. I learned at a rather esoteric workshop in Normandy, France, amongst 30 progressive Dutch seekers, that the heart serves the mind. Our egos (minds) always vie for control, but they are servant, not master to our hearts. Yet, our Western culture is adept at cultivating the MIND. So, I often ask, am I being loving or am I demanding that I am RIGHT. My pursuit…loving…tender in fact.
I’m living a year (or is it 5 years) of rapid growth, cataclysmic explosions within my heart and challenges taxing my busy mind. People are bursting in and just as quickly catapulting out of my life, loved ones are dying and business is like chicken in a shake and bake bag, ‘hard knocks’ years indeed!
I was recently reminded of the Japanese proverb, ‘When your house burns down, you have a better view of the moon.’ My carefully constructed life structures are being blown to bits and I’m having to develop a real love and acceptance of not just what IS, but the harder one, a profound love of MYSELF, just as I am.
We all experience heartache, loss, our egos crushed over not feeling understood for who we REALLY are or, hurt as someone sees who we REALLY are and they opt out. It’s impossible to please everyone. I’m finding that if folks don’t feel a fit in my camp, it’s best they move on in their own RV to safer, calmer, more fitting grounds. I clearly have my own road and row to hoe and I’m actually quite pleased with the garden I’m cultivating. And, I’m not adverse to weeds.
Loving yourself free is perhaps the most important of all life lessons. Likewise, developing to your fullest potential means finding the people and things which fit you best! My wrecking ball is in full force. I’m hoping for a PhD as one day I near the end of this carnage.
These ‘self acceptance’ lessons can make one weary. The people in those tv commercials don’t seem troubled, full of questions or the periodic struggle, why?… because they’re not real but fabricated to sell products and to make us WISH we were that ‘together’.
Yet I’m curious…once self-acceptance is more fully realized, I wonder how my days and nights might unfold differently as my world turns on THAT axis and WHO might show up to dance in my circle of light!
Today my heart is full of compassion for the people who touch my life, for you and thankfully, for myself. Heart to heart, I wish you peace, love and the knowledge of your own beautiful self, just as you are…exactly as you ARE!
BB Webb